The Brimming Cup
CHAPTER XXIV
NEALE'S RETURN
July 22. Evening.
He stooped to kiss her and sank down beside her where she sat
cowering in the dark. Although she could not see his face clearly
Marise knew from his manner that he was very tired, from the way he
sat down, taking off his cap, and his attitude as he leaned his
head back against the pillar. She knew this without thinking about
it, mechanically, with the automatic certainty of a long-since
acquired knowledge of him. And when he spoke, although his voice
was quiet and level, she felt a great fatigue in his accent.
But he spoke with his usual natural intonation, which he
evidently tried to make cheerful. "I'm awfully glad you're still
up, dear. I was afraid you'd be too tired, with the funeral coming
tomorrow. But I couldn't get here any sooner. I've been clear over
the mountain today. And I've done a pretty good stroke of business
that I'm in a hurry to tell you about. You remember, don't you, how
the Powers lost the title to their big woodlot? I don't know if you
happen to remember all the details, how a lawyer named Lowder . .
."
"I remember," said Marise, speaking for the first time, "all
about it."
"Well," went on Neale, wearily but steadily, "up in Nova Scotia
this time, talking with one of the old women in town, I ran across
a local tradition that, in a town about ten miles inland, some of
the families were descended from Tory Yankees who'd been exiled
from New England, after the Revolution. I thought it was worth
looking up, and one day I ran up there to see if I could find out
anything about them. It was Sunday and I had to . . ."
Marise was beside herself, her heart racing wildly. She took
hold of his arm and shook it with all her might. "Neale, quick!
quick! Leave out all that. What did you do?"
She could see that he was surprised by her fierce impatience,
and for an instant taken aback by the roughness of the
interruption. He stared at her. How slow Neale was!
He began, "But, dear, why do you care so much about it? You
can't understand about what I did, if I don't tell you this part,
the beginning, how I . . ." Then, feeling her begin to tremble
uncontrollably, he said hastily, "Why, of course, Marise, if you
want to know the end first. The upshot of it all is that I've got
it straightened out, about the Powers woodlot. I got track of those
missing leaves from the Ashley Town Records. They really were
carried away by that uncle of yours. I found them up in Canada. I
had a certified copy and tracing made of them. It's been a long
complicated business, and the things only came in yesterday's mail,
after you'd been called over here. But I'd been in correspondence
with Lowder, and when I had my proofs in hand, I telephoned him and
made him come over yesterday afternoon. It was one of the biggest
satisfactions I ever expect to have, when I shoved those papers
under his nose and watched him curl up. Then I took him back today,
myself, to his own office, not to let him out of my sight, till it
was all settled. There was a great deal more to it . . . two or
three hours of fight. I bluffed some, about action by the
bar-association, disbarment, a possible indictment for perjury, and
seemed to hit a weak spot. And finally I saw him with my own eyes
burn up that fake warranty-deed. And that's all there is to that.
Just as soon as we can get this certified copy admitted and entered
on our Town Records, 'Gene can have possession of his own
wood-land. Isn't that good news?"
He paused and added with a tired, tolerant, kindly accent, "Now
Nelly will have fourteen pairs of new shoes, each laced higher up
than the others, and I won't be the one to grudge them to her."
He waited for a comment and, when none came, went on doggedly
making talk in that resolutely natural tone of his. "Now that you
know the end, and that it all came out right, you ought to listen
to some details, for they are queer. The missing pages weren't in
that first town I struck at all. Nothing there but a record of a
family of Simmonses who had come from Ashley in 1778. They had . .
."
Marise heard nothing more of what he said, although his voice
went on with words the meaning of which she could not grasp. It did
not seem to her that she had really understood with the whole of
her brain anything he had said, or that she had been able to take
in the significance of it. She could think of nothing but a
frightening sensation all over her body, as though the life were
ebbing out of it. Every nerve and fiber in her seemed to have gone
slack, beyond anything she had ever conceived. She could feel
herself more and more unstrung and loosened like a violin string
let down and down. The throbbing ache in her throat was gone.
Everything was gone. She sat helpless and felt it slip away, till
somewhere in the center of her body this ebbing of strength had run
so far that it was a terrifying pain, like the approach of death.
She was in a physical panic of alarm, but unable to make a sound,
to turn her head.
It was when she heard a loud insistent ringing in her head, and
saw the stars waver and grow dim that she knew she was fainting
away.
Then she was lying on the sofa in Cousin Hetty's sitting-room,
Neale bending over her, holding a handkerchief which smelled of
ammonia, and Agnes, very white, saying in an agitated voice, "It's
because she hasn't eaten a thing all day. She wouldn't touch her
lunch or supper. It's been turrible to see her."
Marise's head felt quite clear and lucid now; her consciousness
as if washed clean by its temporary absence from life. She tried to
sit up and smile at Neale and Agnes. She had never fainted away in
all her life before. She felt very apologetic and weak. And she
felt herself in a queer, literal way another person.
Neale sat down by her now and put his arm around her. His face
was grave and solicitous, but not frightened, as Agnes was. It was
like Neale not to lose his head. He said to Agnes, "Give me that
cup of cocoa," and when it came, he held it to Marise's lips. "Take
a good swallow of that," he said quietly.
Marise was amazed to find that the hot sweet smell of the cocoa
aroused in her a keen sensation of hunger. She drank eagerly, and
taking in her hand the piece of bread and butter which Neale
offered to her, she began to eat it with a child's appetite. She
was not ashamed or self-conscious in showing this before Neale. One
never needed to live up to any pose before Neale. His mere presence
in the room brought you back, she thought, to a sense of reality.
Sometimes if you had been particularly up in the air, it made you
feel a little flat as she certainly did now. But how profoundly
alive it made you feel, Neale's sense of things as they were.
The food was delicious. She ate and drank unabashedly, finding
it an exquisite sensation to feel her body once more normal, her
usual home, and not a scaring, almost hostile entity, apart from
her. When she finished, she leaned against Neale's shoulder with a
long breath. For an instant, she had no emotion but relieved,
homely, bodily comfort.
"Well, for Heaven's sake!" said Neale, looking down at her.
"I know it," she said. "I'm an awful fool."
"No, you're not," he contradicted. "That's what makes me so
provoked with you now, going without eating since morning."
Agnes put in, "It's the suddenness of it that was such a shock.
It takes me just so, too, comes over me as I start to put a
mouthful of food into my mouth. I can't get it down. And you don't
know how lost I feel not to have Miss Hetty here to tell me
what to eat. I feel so gone!"
"You must go to bed this minute," said Neale. "I'll go right
back to the children."
He remembered suddenly. "By George, I haven't had anything to
eat since noon, myself." He gave Marise an apologetic glance. "I
guess I haven't any stones to throw at your foolishness."
Agnes ran to get him another cup of cocoa and some more bread
and butter. Marise leaned back on the sofa and watched him eat.
She was aware of a physical release from tension that was like a
new birth. She looked at her husband as she had not looked at him
for years. And yet she knew every line and hollow of that rugged
face. What she seemed not to have seen before, was what had grown
up little by little, the expression of his face, the expression
which gave his presence its significance, the expression which he
had not inherited like his features, but which his life had wrought
out there.
Before her very eyes there seemed still present the strange,
alien look of the dead face upstairs, from which the expression had
gone, and with it everything. That vision hung, a cold and solemn
warning in her mind, and through it she looked at the living face
before her and saw it as she had never done before.
In the clean, new, sweet lucidity of her just-returned
consciousness she saw what she was not to forget, something like a
steady, visible light, which was Neale's life. That was Neale
himself. And as she looked at him silently, she thought it no
wonder that she had been literally almost frightened to death by
the mere possibility that it had not existed. She had been right in
thinking that there was something there which would outlast the
mere stars.
He looked up, found her eyes on him, and smiled at her. She
found the gentleness of his eyes so touching that she felt the
tears mounting to her own. . . . But she winked them back. There
had been enough foolishness from her, for one day.
Neale leaned back in his chair now, looked around for his; cap,
took it up, and looked back at her, quietly, still smiling a
little. Marise thought, "Neale is as natural in his life as
a very great actor is in his art. Whatever he does, even to the
most trifling gesture, is done with so great a simplicity that it
makes people like me feel fussy and paltry."
There was a moment's silence, Neale frankly very tired, looking
rather haggard and grim, giving himself a moment's respite in his
chair before standing up to go; Marise passive, drawing long quiet
breaths, her hands folded on her knees; Agnes, her back to the
other two, hanging about the sideboard, opening and shutting the
drawers, and shifting their contents aimlessly from one to the
other.
Then Agnes turned, and showed a shamed, nervous old face. "I
don't know what's got into me, Miss Marise, that I ain't no good to
myself nor anybody else. I'm afraid to go back into the kitchen
alone." She explained to Neale, "I never was in the house with a
dead body before, Mr. Crittenden, and I act like a baby about it,
scared to let Mrs. Crittenden out of my sight. If I'm alone for a
minute, seems 'sthough . . ." She glanced over her shoulder
fearfully and ended lamely, "Seems 'sthough I don't know what might
happen."
"I won't leave you alone, Agnes, till it is all over," said
Marise, and this time she kept contempt not only out of her voice,
but out of her heart. She was truly only very sorry for the old
woman with her foolish fears.
Agnes blinked and pressed her lips together, the water in her
eyes. "I'm awful glad to hear you say that!" she said
fervently.
Marise closed her eyes for a moment. It had suddenly come to her
that this promise to Agnes meant that she could not see Neale alone
till after the funeral, tomorrow, when she went back into life
again. And she found that she immensely wanted to see him alone
this very hour, now! And Agnes would be there . . . !
She opened her eyes and saw Neale standing up, his cap in his
hand, looking at her, rough and brown and tall and tired and
strong; so familiar, every line and pose and color of him; as
familiar and unexciting, as much a part of her, as her own
hand.
As their eyes met in the profound look of intimate
interpenetration which can pass only between a man and a woman who
have been part of each other, she felt herself putting to him
clearly, piercingly, the question which till then she had not known
how to form, "Neale, what do you want me to do?"
She must have said it aloud, and said it with an accent which
carried its prodigious import, for she saw him turn very white, saw
his eyes deepen, his chest lift in a great heave. He came towards
her, evidently not able to speak for a moment. Then he took her
hands . . . the memory of a thousand other times was in his touch .
. .
He looked at her as though he could never turn his eyes away.
The corners of his mouth twitched and drew down.
He said, in a deep, trembling, solemn voice, "Marise, my
darling, I want you always to do what is best for you to
do."
He drew a deep, deep breath as though it had taken all his
strength to say that; and went on, "What is deepest and most living
in you . . . that is what must go on living."
He released one hand and held it out towards her as though he
were taking an oath.